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From section 1, Infancy, of Saltian
Malia
By Alice Shapiro
Flower on this Earth
I first saw you shining
a royal glow charged
with beauty beyond
an ordinary birth
one small package wrapped
in precious jewels of essence.
I knew it then
I see it now.
It is certain that as you grow
with a gentle frown between your brow
kings will fall
to gather up your happiness
to lay their treasures in your
outstretched hand
to glance again upon your smile.
I knew it then
I see it now.
Babe, purely innocent
no stain or ill deed will tarnish you.
Dressed in God’s raiment
you are blessed with love and loveliness
and if I could, I dare not influence
your choices.
A brilliant path is yours alone, and certain.
Critique
By Carlene Tejada
Alice Shapiro’s tender poem about the arrival of a new life describes our hopes and dreams as we observe the perfection of newborns and the very young.
Three 7-line stanzas are separated by the repetition of a drumbeat-like couplet (4 strong 1-syllable words to a line). These 2 lines act like an announcement or oration. They are at home here with the fantasies of royal glow, jewels, kings, treasures. Alliteration and internal rhyme throughout the poem give a soft lyrical quality. For example, initial “b” and “p” in the first stanza, “ow” in the second stanza and “n” and “s” sounds in the third. Additional resonance occurs in the first stanza with “Earth,” “first,” and “birth”; and in the second stanza with “hand” and “glance.” Such internal resonance and rhyme add rich layers to a poem. Alice does this very well.
One suggestion is to rethink use of the word “between” in the second stanza. “Between” means in a frame of two, and “brow” is singular. I confess to reading the poem three times to realize Malia is a baby, not a flower or place. All in all, this is a gentle and loving poem, a pleasure to read.
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After divorce and empty nest, Carlene Tejada faced the future armed with an MA in English literature, a BA in teaching English as a second language, and years of editing and teaching experience. Only then did she feel she had the time and focus to take her lifelong fascination with writing seriously. More than anything she wanted “a body of work.”
Carlene moved many times but always found writing groups. For several years she led journal-writing workshops (and still does). She experimented with short stories, and in drafting a novel she discovered a lack of patience and imagination for writing fiction. At friends’ suggestions, she read works by several contemporary poets and was drawn to writing poetry. Poems became the “body of work” she was working for. Blue Pearls: Poems came out in 2010; she is now working on poems for a second book.
