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From section 5, The Justice, of Saltian
Where is the justice in that?
By Alice Shapiro
Young minds think mature
despite a jumbled slew of words
spitted out.
Agape at the wisdom of babes
one wonders is it fair
that word cells die
leaving spaces where once lied places
of good times spent,
names and faces now rent of links
to anything?
At the rise of an insult
that child’s brash brain formed responses
strong enough to drain the blood
of her attacker
but lacked a physical skill
to mouth explicit answers.
In these far days it is common
to hear her loud and gritty verbal grumbles
near every visitor’s exit, every tumble
with a neighbor.
Where is the justice in that?
Critique
By John Gosslee
The concept of Shapiro’s book is interesting and the poem Where is the justice in that?” must build from the other works in the manuscript. It is difficult to understand what it is about as a singular poem.
The first sentence makes an unqualified statement that goes unexplained throughout the poem. It is a guess to say how many reader will read “… agape” as “mouth wide open” or as the greek love term.
… Word cells, good time spent, physical skill, explicit answers, and verbal grumbles are elusive descriptors that would work best as concrete images. A comma after line 4 in stanza 2 is recommended and the poem needs some overall grammar improvements. I am looking forward to seeing the next draft.
