In Acapulco

ten years after

a loosed marriage-bed

she sat alone at the edge

of a flowery-patterned sofa

reverie interrupted

when a younger pair took

the other cushion

unaware of her presence.

Cooing like a cockatiel in heat

the sexy lady rambled on

with a Castilian beat

talking up what seemed

ordinary speak.

Being peripheral and non-existent

she observed with blatant courage

their love-dance.

He begged, he pleaded

his question unheeded

and her bleating chatter

bleeding on his persistence.

Neither woman budged.

The hot sun went down.

At the same moment they both knew

his infant frown and escalating ardor

must be caught

like a fly in a sticky viscid trap.

She picked the ripe-ready fruit

and with an imperceptible smile

it was over.

They left the couch

hand in hand.

An elevator took them up

doors closed on hasty exploration.

The lesson came too late.

The title allows for several possibilities. Before reading the poem, a reader will likely think of the aphrodisiacal version of Spanish fly, which works in the poem, as the sexual ardor is documented, possibly for all three of the people present. The fact that the difference between efficacy and toxicity in a dose of Spanish fly is quite narrow shows the fine line between success and failure between the two women in the poem. But the use of the indefinite article “a” in the title would indicate a second meaning. The setting in Acapulco is Spanish and the unnamed woman at the beginning of the poem is settled in the flowers (of the sofa) just watching, unnoticed, a “fly on the wall.” She becomes “a Spanish fly.” Likewise the word “transparency” carries double interpretation, first as in “obvious or evident” and the second as “looked through or unseen.” In this regard the title is well-formed.

 

The form of the poem also carries several significant characteristics. The seven sections of the poem serve as a subtle reminder of the book’s seven-part structure (though these sections do not mirror the seven categories). The alternating point of view is visible structurally with the older woman’s view flush left and the younger couple’s focus in the indented stanzas. This structure makes it clear that the final line is from the older woman’s point of view. The line is a bit puzzling. Was it that she has just been given a lesson on how to get a man to her bed (ten years after her marriage has ended) and she deems herself “too late” to play that game? Or is the lesson, given some of the diction analysis below, about the pitfalls of sex, which she learned through her own negative experience, making this lesson “too late”? Or, if one ignores the structural cue, could the lesson be the man’s inability to see the trap that he’s been drawn into? I assume this from the woman’s femininity being described as “a sticky viscid trap.” But in stanza 4, he is the one begging and pleading, which makes him both pursuer and victim. While ambiguity can enhance a poem, the uncertainty with the final line, leaves me more confused than enriched.

 

The poem, as a narrative, is evocative, though the words in some places seem ill-fitting. The rhyme, both end-line and internal, seems random, drawing attention to itself without emphasizing key words. In this case, unless I’ve overlooked some other significance, the effort not to rhyme might be worthwhile. Some specific words that seem close to the right word, but not, are “flowery” instead of “flower” in stanza 1, “speak” instead of “speech” in stanza 2, and “ripe-ready” instead of one or the other but not both in stanza 6. But the effective use of words is far more common. My vote for best phrase in the poem goes to the end of stanza 4: “her bleating chatter/ bleeding on his persistence.” The image of her words flowing liquidly over his incorporeal persistence is both surreal and sensual. The penultimate line, also well-worded – “doors closed on hasty exploration” – is suggestive without being prurient. The poem is neither simple nor obscure, though some fine-tuning of diction may make a good poem even better.